No matter how much I tried to prepared myself, nothing can really prepare a mom to hear those words..."Your son is autistic." The neurologist, Melissa Jones, diagnosed Jacob with autism today. I went in to the office unprepared. I was anxious before the appointment and forgot all my notes. Nevertheless, they had their own checklist. I went through each list checking off what Jacob was able to do. Out of about 35 milestones Jacob was meeting 4. All 4 were gross motor skills such as standing up, cruising, climbing. Some of the things on the list seemed so outrageous for a 13 month old, until I remembered even my Tyler could do all of those things by then. Its funny how I forget sometimes that my 13 month old is more similar to a 5 month old. I forget because he is moving around so well. She did some tests and evaluated him and said that she feels very confident in diagnosing him with autism. I told her I was scared that she wouldn't be able to since he is so young. She said it was obvious. She also said that she was impressed that I had realized something was wrong so soon. Most parents don't realize it until later. Ha I wonder how impressed she'd be if I told her how long I have known for. I told her that I decided to trust my gut and I had other kids to compare him to and I just needed to find out. She was so excited for me because early inervention gives kids the best chance of a normal life. I believe that is because these children have such a hard time communicating their needs and feelings. If you can teach them to communicate early on then they have an easier time adjusting. Our next step is to get him an MRI and genetic testing. I asked why? The doctor said there are certain genetic dieases such as fragile x that give a child autism, but develop into many much worse things as well. There is a 35% chance that it is something genetic. I am going to pray with everything in me that it isn't. I immediately posted on my facebook for prayers. I am such a strong believer in prayer. My God loves me and wants to see me being faithful through prayer. It makes me cry to see how many people responded. I thank God for these special friends. I thank God for a church family that truely feels like a family. I thank God for a family who loves me and supports me. I am so thankful for a sister that is my best friend, my role model, and someone to hold me accountable. Mostly, I thank God for a husband who has stayed positive, seeing this diagnosis not as bad, but just as different. Its just something different that we must handle differently. He is such an awesome man.
You are so awesome. Thank you so much for my family. Thank you so much for my children. Please give me wisdom and peace. I'm scared and anxious, but I want to honor you through this situation and sometimes I don't know how. Please help me. I love you.