Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Why bad things happen to good people and Jacob's new diagnosis

Jacob’s nurse called me yesterday and gave me some good/bad news.  After finally discovering the insurance would not pay for the medical testing needed our neurologist decided to dig deeper into Jacob’s medical records to see if there was any indication of a medical problem, not just psychological.  After all, the whole reason she wanted that testing done was not to re-diagnose autism, but to make sure he didn’t have an underlying medical issue causing autism.  After reviewing his rapid head growth and virtually no growth in his body weight and length she determined that he has macrocephaly.  The definition for this is “a congenital anomaly characterized by abnormal largeness of the head and brain in relation to the rest of the body, resulting in some degree of mental and growth retardation. The head is more than two standard deviations above the average circumference size for age, sex, race, and period of gestation, with excessively wide fontanels; the facial features are usually normal. The condition may be caused by some defect in formation during embryonic development, or it may be the result of progressive degeneration processes, such as Schilder's disease, Greenfield's disease, or congenital lipoidosis. In macrocephaly there is symmetric overgrowth at the head without increased intracranial pressure, as differentiated from hydrocephalus, in which the lateral, asymmetric growth of the head is caused by excessive accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid, usually under increased pressure. Specific diagnostic tests may be necessary to differentiate the two conditions. Treatment is primarily symptomatic, with nursing care concentrated specifically on helping parents learn to care for a brain-damaged child. Also called macrocephalia, megalocephaly. Compare microcephaly” (The Free Dictionary by Farlex) There are a lot of things that can cause this, mostly medical.  She told me that they have a copy of our insurance and that it should cover all the tests we need with this diagnosis and that our doctor had 2 other neurologists look over his records to ensure accuracy.  It indeed may be caused simply by autism and if this is the case we will still pay for therapies ourselves, but if it is a disease causing this and his autism there may be some form of medical treatment.  Right now the insurance is deciding still if they are even going to cover the testing.  This is so beyond my understanding.  I want to say, “Please just help my baby!”  I don’t really know where we go from here.  I am just praying and thanking God that we hopefully are getting somewhere.  If just these tests are covered that will help our family tremendously.  I want to thank everyone for their prayers.  The outpouring of love that my husband and I have been shown is just beyond imaginable.  God has revealed himself to me in so many ways lately and I am just in awe.  My precious baby is going to get the help he needs one way or another, I just know it.  I was talking to a friend the other day and she was so confused as to why bad things happen to good people.  I think that’s such a common question.  If we are following God and doing our best to honor Him why are these things happening?  Well, as far as what I have already witnessed, God is using my precious Jacob to move people.  God is using Jacob’s story to help other families realize that their kids may need help.  God is using Jacob’s illness in order to allow me to share my testimony.  God is using other people to show me Christ’s love.  God is using this pain to draw me and my family into his arms.  God is using this to increase our faith.  And God is ultimately using this illness to glorify Him.  If Jacob’s brain damage or autism or whatever it may be causes one person to come to Christ or renew their faith then I willingly accept the pain and work that comes along with it.  I wholeheartedly give Jacob to God.  Even saying this I am in tears because Jacob is my precious baby, but I asked God a while back when I felt myself becoming apathetic to do something to bring me closer to Him.  Never did I imagine it would be something like this, but it has.  It’s drawn me so much closer to Christ.  I am so thankful for it.  Through my pain I am going to praise God and trust that this is for His glory.  So if you are a Christ follower and you love and trust God and you are enduring something similar, I hope you find comfort in the fact that when you gave your life to Christ you gave your life for His glory so that ultimately His kingdom can grow.  God is using this to grow you, grow others, or his kingdom.  God never promised us a life without heartache and in fact Jesus tells us we will endure pain…John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” Isn’t that awesome! God has promised his followers everlasting life with Him in heaven.  “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1Corinthians 2:9  I am praying for resolution, but willing to wait until God has used this for whatever reason He chooses, if it ever ends in this lifetime.  Please pray for strength.  I write these things and I am feeling encouraged and trusting in God and it seems as soon as I take another breath something has happened and getting me down.  I want to stay faithful even through my sorrow.  I love and appreciate everyone on board with us.  I know God can perform a miracle and heal Jakey and I hope that he chooses to.  Please say a prayer for my sweet little guy.

No comments:

Post a Comment