Faith. We hear it a lot, but what does it mean? In church the other day we were hearing about Mary. She was about 16 (possibly younger) when the angel appeared to tell her she would give birth to the Savior of the World. She was already engaged, still a virgin, and she knew what this would mean. It makes you wonder if she even thought about the consequences. People would stare at her. People would judge her. People would falsely accuse her of adultery. What would Joseph say? All of these things could have been running through her head. Can you even imagine in today's society how fast that news would spread? Yet what was her reaction to this news? It wasn't worry, it wasn't hesitation. The Bible says... "And Mary said," Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word..." Luke 1:38
WOW! She expressed her dedication to God and to His will in her life no matter what that meant. She also said a beautiful song to the Lord later in the chapter. Her love and devotion to God was apparent through her faithfulness. Her mature and bold faith is something that is very special. It got me to thinking about my faith. I think that I have it, but is my life an example of a faithful woman? Would my legacy be of someone who had great faith? I am not sure if that is the way I am viewed or not, but I want to live out a faith that can not be shattered by my circumstances. Sometimes, my emotions seem to take over my life. I have to put a stop to that. I am in control of my emotions, not the other way around.
The other day a therapist came over. She is new to Jacob and we started signing all the paperwork to get the ball rolling for enrolling him into special education within the public school system. Children start at 3 years old when they are disabled or have special needs. She told me that recently one of her severely autistic nonverbal kids was only approved for speech therapy 2 times a week for 30 minutes. This was beyond upsetting news to me. I had planned on Jacob entering school 5 days a week for a few hours per day. We can't afford the therapy he needs and this was to be one of the most important things that he could ever be in at this age! Then it started....PANIC. He NEEDS this therapy, he NEEDS this education. What will we do if they don't accept him? I kept thinking, "I will hire a lawyer, that's what! I will hire 3 lawyers!" I kept imagining all the "what if's" in my mind and how I would react. Then I realized that my worry, my panic, my fear, was the exact opposite of having faith. I need to be prepared, educated, and ready to fight for my sons rights, but I need to trust God in this situation. I need to live a life of joy and peace, not fear and worry. What can we do in times like this? Remind ourselves that God is holy. God is wise. God is just. God is sovereign. Nothing happens without God allowing it to happen. So with this I will pray that God's will be done in Jacob's life and that whatever the plan is for Jacob that I will remain faithful.
1 Corinthians 10:13 says...
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may to able to endure it."
I need to prepare my heart for these ups and downs with Jacob and his journey. I need to be on guard at all times so that I don't give in to fear and panic. I need to prepare my heart by studying God's Word and praying for guidance for our lives. I need to do all this while giving thanks for the many blessings that God is giving us each day.
Jacob has been using his PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) very well in therapy and has translated it into the real world quite well, so far. He will request pizza, milk, certain toys and so forth. He still sometimes just wants to play with the cards and chew on them so we are working on making it just a form of communication and not a toy. If any moms have any advise on this please pass it on. He also is mimicking so many words, songs, and phrases! Anything that is in the form of a song he will try to repeat in his own cute way. I don't know that many people on the outside would understand what he is saying, but I can recognize it by the tune. It is very precious. He played pretend the other day with Jordan, which was huge! She was vacuuming and he got his popper and rolled it around making a vacuum sound. He also insists on Tyler chasing him around with the popper. He asks him to play it with him by pushing the popper in Tyler's face and screaming. ha ha Tyler likes it though and chases him all around. I love this sweet little family. I love how much progress Jacob is making with ABA therapy. He has also mastered his first 24 piece jigsaw puzzle where the picture is not given on the board. Its even difficult for Tyler to do, but Jacob does it with no problem. I will be getting him some harder puzzles soon. Anyways, these are all things that I am so so thankful for.
Most of all this holiday season I am thankful for God sending Jesus to die on the cross to pay the penalty of sin. God is perfect and our sin separates us from Him for all eternity. If we believe and confess Jesus is the Lord over our lives and repent than we can be reconciled to the Father and spend our eternity in Heaven.
If you would like to know about having a relationship with God please email me. I know how hard it can be raising a child with ASD. I know the confusion and despair. I can relate to some of the challenges that you face daily. I understand that the future holds so many questions when you have a child with a disability. So much seems uncertain. I can tell you one thing for certain, though. When you have a relationship with Jesus you CAN be certain of the future. If there is one thing I want for my son it is for him to know and love Jesus as much as his mind will let him. I will settle for nothing less.