Since our big move across the country, I've found myself praying more throughout the day than I have in a long time. I pray for my daughter, who remains in TX, so far away from us. I pray for my son Tyler to find friends and Jacob to have inspiring teachers who will help him grow and thrive. I pray for guidance about where we should attend church and for clarity in all the other details unfolding in our lives and our extended family's.
This move has been overwhelming at times. Of course, as a special needs family, there are just so many details that we have to consider that affect our decisions. And in my usual fashion, I've found myself stressing out about Jacob's safety, who will take over when his RBT moves, is he learning enough through his curriculum, how can we help him to grow into more independence. My human nature is to always ALWAYS go back to desiring culture's definition of healing and happiness for him. I want God to heal him so that he can talk to us about his life, live a fully independent life and maybe one day have companionship the way neurotypical people do. These are all good things to desire and pray for, I know. But, focusing so much on where he lacks in ability and healing always pushes me away from where God has us now and how God could be using us now.
I'm reading a book that offers insight on how God uses weaknesses for His glory and it has brought this back to the forefront of my mind. God has created Jacob exactly as he would have him and knows every hair on his head and I believe wants what's best for him. The problem is, I think so many times what I want and think is best may not be what God wants and thinks is best.
While I deeply desire Jacob's physical growth and healing, I recognize that our true need lies in spiritual healing. God's plans and purpose for Jacob's life may unfold in ways we don't expect. It usually does. Physical healing isn't always the ultimate intention. Spiritual healing of the lost is. 1 Peter 2:24 says, "He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." True healing is being made right with God and not living in separation from God, not physical restoration.
As a special needs family, we find ourselves caught between the hopes we have for Jacob and the reality of their unique path. It's so easy to be consumed by worry and to measure progress against the world's ideas of success and happiness. Don't get me wrong, I think it's ok to have those feelings and hopes and prayers and bring them in front of God. But I am reminded today to ask Him to align our hopes and desires with His. I pray that God will give us new perspective on this journey out here in PA.
I pray that if you find yourself grappling with the challenges that come with being a special needs family, you will bring those worries to the Lord and ask Him to align your will with His, so that you can have peace and joy in this journey (oftentimes despite the journey). If you don't have a relationship with Lord, I would love to talk with you. Please reach out.
The Bible says that God is holy. That means that He is perfect. He has never sinned and will never sin. The Bible also says that man is not perfect. I've sinned and you've sinned, right? I've lied, you've lied. That's the big problem between God and man. The Bible says our sin literally cuts us off from God here in this life and forever after we die. The punishment for our sin is eternal separation from God.
But God didn't leave us there in our sin. That's why God sent Jesus, so we wouldn't be separated forever. He made a way for us to be reconciled to Him. Jesus lived a perfect and sinless life, he didn't deserve punishment, yet died on the cross to pay the punishment for our sin (past, present, and future) on our behalf. On the third day, He rose from the grave and conquered sin and death.
If you believe in this truth and want to be in right relationship with God, all you need to do is recognize that you are a sinner in need of a savior, believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead on the third day to pay the punishment for your sins, and confess your sinfulness to God and repent (turn away) and ask God to be the God of your life.
You can experience joy, hope, and real healing in this life and forevermore. I pray this for you today.
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