Saturday, May 14, 2011

Post Op

Its been a while since we had Jacob's tubes put in.  He hasn't had any more ear infections!! His speech hasn't improved at all like we hoped.  We went back to test his hearing and they said it is perfect.  Frustrating to nont know why he isn't speaking.  Since ECI came to evaluate we are now working with a nutritionist, speech therapist, and occupational therapist and they all suspect autism.  Sometimes he seems like he is medicated.  He is a happy baby, but something is off.  He doesn't seem to have a whole lot of emotions, he doesn't connect with me like my other kids did.  Here are most of his symptoms....
~no words, only babbling dada moma but with no meaning behind it
~repetative hand flapping
~low eye contact
~no pointing, pinching
~will not imitate people by clapping or waving
~will not look around for moma or dada
There are more but these are some of my main concerns.  I see babies in the church nursery that are much younger that can do all of this.  The doctor suggests more time, but I don't want to give it more time. I want more help.  How can I just do nothing when I know something is wrong?  This is not normal.  I feel like everyday I feel sad, scared, and worried about him.  I need to turn to God, but its so hard when its your child.  Although, how can I even say that?  My Father in Heaven sent His son to die for me.  I need to trust. I need to really pray about how to trust in the Lord, not worry, yet still be the driven mom that is willing to fight for her child's health.  UGH! Lord, please help me.