I sat there in my bible study group a few weeks ago wondering if I should ask for prayer again..for the same old prayer request I've had for 7 years now. I wondered if I needed to bring up one of the many current dilemmas we are experiencing from autism to feel like I had a valid reason for asking for that same prayer again and again. I wondered if I should even ask for prayer again at all. And then at another meeting the thought crossed my mind, "Should I bring this up again?" But there I was with everyone looking at me waiting to hear my prayer request and I couldn't help but to burst out in tears. It's tiring to be a full time caretaker. Its tiring to worry about safety all the time. It's tiring to worry about education and speech and doctors appointments and anxiety all the time. And it's tiring to feel like I shouldn't ask for that same prayer again and again.
BUT I need prayer. I need the same prayer over and over. Prayer to remain faithful in the hard times, to continue leaning on God and focusing on God, prayer for endurance and long-suffering, prayer for Jacob to continue growing and learning, prayer for my marriage and my kids, and prayer through the really challenging times.
In past studies, I have learned that the purpose of prayer is primarily to learn more about God. It's also our way to honor and praise Him, to make requests or supplications, our way to hear from Him and so much more. So I wonder why I keep feeling like I'm such a burden or nag to keep asking.
It made me wonder if other people feel the same. Do you struggle with asking for the same prayer request again and again? Do you also feel awkward when people ask how the situation is going, knowing that it hasn't gotten better and sometimes its worse? I know for me its hard to be real and say that things are still a struggle at times. I think people find it uncomfortable to know that things aren't getting any better. They want a response that things are improving when, at best, things are the same.
But the truth is, while my situation isn't getting any easier, my walk with the Lord absolutely can become more intimate, my joy in the Lord can become stronger, and I NEED to know more about God. I need to know more about His sovereignty, especially when going through life long challenges. To give God glory throughout the trials in a genuine way, I have to know and trust who God is. That only comes through prayer and study.
We need to seek his face and ask others to help us seek Him and know Him more.
So I want to encourage you, when you feel like you can't possibly ask for the same prayer again, to ask anyways. People that love us will want to know that our situation is still demanding, tiring, and difficult. People that love us and love God know that we need Him more than anything else...more than health, comfort, etc.
So I did it. At the meeting, I asked again for that same prayer and I cried (too much). As they prayed over me, I thanked the Lord for the encouragement. I pray for encouragement for moms feeling this same way. I pray you find the courage to ask for "that" prayer request again and again, knowing that you NEED to know God more.