The results are in and scary!

I just got off the phone with Dr. Melissa Jones, Jacob's neurologist.  She said that Jacob's blood work came back abnormal.  She said he showed elevated levels of almost everything and that the blood work needed to be repeated while fasting.  I can't remember if we were fasting the last time so we go back in tomorrow to the blood work that we did a few weeks ago.  Hopefully, this time the blood draw will go as smoothly as last time.  Remember, this is the blood work where they have to put the needle in, take the tourniquet off, wait 2 minutes, then take blood.  I asked her what diseases these tests were for exactly.  I have been doing a lot of research coming up with a thousand things and I wanted to be more clear as to what we were looking for.  She said that it tests for hundreds of diseases.  Additionally, that most of them are treatable.  In my mind treatable is a good thing, so I said that's good news right.  She said,"No.  We do not want him to have one of these diseases.  I know it sounds good that they're treatable, but they bring another number of problems.  Some of the diseases are life threatening and others will be difficult for him."  We are heading back to Texas Children's tomorrow.  I am feeling pretty sick right now.  I'm scared.  I'm feeling really scared. 
God in Heaven,
Please please please do not let Jacob have a horrible disease.  Sometimes I think that autism is all that I can handle.  I just don't know how to handle something that may take his life or threaten his quality of life.  I know that you'll equip me with what I need, but I am feeling so desperate right now.  I know that you are God and you have a greater plan for my family than I can possibly understand.  I am hurting and I just need you.  If its in your will, I just ask that you heal Jacob or that these tests were somehow wrong, but if its not I trust you. Thank you for my children, my husband, and my loving friends and family.

This song came on the radio right after I hung up.  I have never cried so hard.  I know the Lord sees me and loves me.

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain


Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty