Finding Real Comfort When the Decorations Fall Short

This weekend, I attended a women’s breakfast at my church, where Pauline George spoke on a message we hear often—keeping Christmas about Christ. But this time, those words hit differently.

Pauline talked about how we pour so much energy into our Christmas lists—the things to do, buy, and plan. We obsess over the what and how but rarely pause to consider the why. That question stuck with me. Why do I do the things I do during the holidays? How often do I stop to just consider why? 

She said that when someone asks, “Are you ready for Christmas?” our typical response is about the gifts we’ve bought, the decorations we’ve hung, or the meals we’ve planned. It’s all about the external—what I can check off my list. But why? 

For me, I think it’s because I’m seeking comfort. My love language is gifts, and going “all out” with cozy decorations and thoughtful presents is my way of creating a nostalgic, comforting atmosphere. Decorations remind me of childhood memories of falling asleep by the Christmas tree. I love that the decorations make Jacob sing and light up. I love that my kids think I am a crazy Christmas mom and I love that it somehow makes me feel close to my dad, who has passed. These are all lovely things, right?

But this year, the decorations haven’t brought the comfort they usually do. They’ve felt... empty. Today, during the sermon, I was again convicted of why.

Christmas isn’t about the “stuff” that fills our homes; it’s about the Savior who came to change our hearts. Without Christmas, we wouldn’t have Jesus. We all hear it year after year, but does our life reflect it? God sent His only Son into the world to live a perfect life and die for our sins—past, present, and future—so we could be made right with Him. That’s the comfort I’ve been missing while seeking it through all the stuff. I know it, but I needed to be reminded of it. 

Pauline encouraged us to make a different kind of Christmas list this year—a “spiritual plan” for the season. She gave us three ideas to start:

• Use your voice for God.
• Slow down.
• Seek the why.

The third one resonated with me deeply. Seeking the why calls for discernment—it shifts our focus from the frantic what and how of our plans to the deeper purpose behind them.

I’ve been clinging to the temporary and overlooking the eternal. Decorations and traditions are lovely—they’re part of the joy and celebration—but they can’t bear the weight of my longing for peace and connection. Only Jesus can do that.

So this Christmas, I want to hold loosely to the busy-ness and tightly to my Savior. To pause amidst the wrapping paper and twinkling lights and reflect on the One who came to rescue me. Because the true comfort of Christmas isn’t found in the things we do, but in the God who did it all for us.

May we all make much of Him this season.

God is Good

 

In our new church we have been discussing God as our provider. I’ve felt that so much over the years. Today was no exception. I’ve been pretty lonely the last couple weeks. I miss my girl Jordan Fox and my family in TX. 

During discussion at church tonight I got to hear people share their testimonies. We had discussion questions, but our leader asked people to share instead. It was just what my heart needed. There isn’t anything more powerful than hearing how God is working in people’s lives. I’m so thankful. 

I have so many stories of God working in our lives but the one I love to share most is when Cret and I agreed to sell our home and my wedding ring and virtually everything we had to give Jacob a chance of speech. We were living on a prayer every moment back then. I love to revisit this story to remind me to be focused on God and not myself and to live prayerfully still. 

Back then our insurance didn’t cover autism and all the research pointed to full time ABA for his best chances of success. So we followed what the Lord was telling us to do and decided that God had blessed us with things that we could use to help Jacob. In the background, I was struggling deeply with the love of material things. I prayed for release from that. I had no idea God would answer that prayer by showing me I needed to sell everything dear to me, including the wedding ring my husband bought me with the money he got from selling his grandfathers classic truck. So we sold our dream home, my dream ring, and everything else we had of value because we knew God had given us means to care for Jakey.

Nearly a year later, with only 3 months left of money for therapy the Lord asked us to put Him before therapy by supporting a church plant. We prayed and came together and had both come up with the exact same amount to give which would leave us with 1 month left of therapy money. 

We gave thousands to that church plant not knowing what it would mean for Jacob. I need to add that I only had enough faith for that very day. I made Cret send the money that night because I was afraid I’d change my mind the next morning and beg him not to. Actually I knew I’d change my mind. And so he did.

The very next day Cret got a phone call. God provided Cret a new job with full insurance coverage the next day out of blue…literally the next day. It still baffles me. He hadn’t even applied for a job!!! Jacob didn’t even miss a week of therapy because our insurance began covering it. Then friends and family and Taylor Swift bought our service dog. Then when that insurance stopped covering Jacob Cret got another job that covered his therapy…repeat repeat repeat. It wasn’t easy on him. He had jobs he loved that he had to leave BUT God worked it out and provided. 

Time and time again God has provided for us in ways we never could have imagined and never could attribute to our own doing. Sometimes it was just enough for the next year, but it was always enough. 

So when Cret told me he wanted me to have a new wedding ring, I purposely chose a deep red ring. A ring that would be different and serve as a reminder of Gods goodness to our family and something when someone noticed it and asked about it I could tell people the story of our family and how God has provided for us. 

I get to see a constant reminder to not lose faith and to remember God loves me. 

God is so good. He may not provide for you the way he has for us, but I know He loves you. I know he wants you to have a right relationship with him through Christ.

Life isn’t easy and sometimes it’s really lonely. But thank goodness we have a loving God who always comforts and provides in the ways we need it, even when we don’t realize what we need. I’m so thankful to God that He removed the blinders from my eyes and saved me. 

He loves you. He wants a relationship with you that is personal. ❤️

Redefining Healing

Since our big move across the country, I've found myself praying more throughout the day than I have in a long time. I pray for my daughter, who remains in TX, so far away from us. I pray for my son Tyler to find friends and Jacob to have inspiring teachers who will help him grow and thrive. I pray for guidance about where we should attend church and for clarity in all the other details unfolding in our lives and our extended family's. 

This move has been overwhelming at times. Of course, as a special needs family, there are just so many details that we have to consider that affect our decisions. And in my usual fashion, I've found myself stressing out about Jacob's safety, who will take over when his RBT moves, is he learning enough through his curriculum, how can we help him to grow into more independence. My human nature is to always ALWAYS go back to desiring culture's definition of healing and happiness for him. I want God to heal him so that he can talk to us about his life, live a fully independent life and maybe one day have companionship the way neurotypical people do. These are all good things to desire and pray for, I know. But, focusing so much on where he lacks in ability and healing always pushes me away from where God has us now and how God could be using us now.

I'm reading a book that offers insight on how God uses weaknesses for His glory and it has brought this back to the forefront of my mind. God has created Jacob exactly as he would have him and knows every hair on his head and I believe wants what's best for him. The problem is, I think so many times what I want and think is best may not be what God wants and thinks is best. 

While I deeply desire Jacob's physical growth and healing, I recognize that our true need lies in spiritual healing. God's plans and purpose for Jacob's life may unfold in ways we don't expect. It usually does. Physical healing isn't always the ultimate intention. Spiritual healing of the lost is. 1 Peter 2:24 says, "He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." True healing is being made right with God and not living in separation from God, not physical restoration. 

As a special needs family, we find ourselves caught between the hopes we have for Jacob and the reality of their unique path. It's so easy to be consumed by worry and to measure progress against the world's ideas of success and happiness. Don't get me wrong, I think it's ok to have those feelings and hopes and prayers and bring them in front of God. But I am reminded today to ask Him to align our hopes and desires with His. I pray that God will give us new perspective on this journey out here in PA. 

I pray that if you find yourself grappling with the challenges that come with being a special needs family, you will bring those worries to the Lord and ask Him to align your will with His, so that you can have peace and joy in this journey (oftentimes despite the journey). If you don't have a relationship with Lord, I would love to talk with you. Please reach out. 

The Bible says that God is holy. That means that He is perfect. He has never sinned and will never sin. The Bible also says that man is not perfect. I've sinned and you've sinned, right? I've lied, you've lied. That's the big problem between God and man. The Bible says our sin literally cuts us off from God here in this life and forever after we die. The punishment for our sin is eternal separation from God.

But God didn't leave us there in our sin. That's why God sent Jesus, so we wouldn't be separated forever. He made a way for us to be reconciled to Him. Jesus lived a perfect and sinless life, he didn't deserve punishment, yet died on the cross to pay the punishment for our sin (past, present, and future) on our behalf. On the third day, He rose from the grave and conquered sin and death. 

If you believe in this truth and want to be in right relationship with God, all you need to do is recognize that you are a sinner in need of a savior, believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead on the third day to pay the punishment for your sins, and confess your sinfulness to God and repent (turn away) and ask God to be the God of your life. 

You can experience joy, hope, and real healing in this life and forevermore. I pray this for you today.