Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Joy and Peace

My heart is heavy tonight.  Jacob has been sick with off and on fevers for a month, spitting up, refusing to eat and having tantrums, and most recently hyperventilating at night.  Sometimes I feel like when I ask for prayer people must be thinking I am making this stuff up because it is just so much so often.  I am growing tired of sicknesses and fevers and doctor appointments and therapy sessions.  All of this has just begun and I wonder how am I going to make it through a life time of this?  Then I remember that I have Jesus to run to.  I open my Bible and refresh my mind.  In everything I read, God reveals something new that I can apply to my life and my situation.  I feel restored and ready to take on the next day.  Tonight while my husband was with friends I had to take my 3 kids to the grocery store.  It was getting pretty late...maybe 7:30 and they had all had their baths and were in their pjs and acting wild.  A woman with 2 little girls walked by me and asked, "How do you do it?  3 kids... How in the world do you do it?  Jesus Christ."  When I heard those words muttered in that way it hit me in my gut...hard.  Nothing makes me more upset than when I hear people say those words in that way.  So I just stood there and then managed to mutter "I love it".  She was standing there looking at me intent on hearing my answer and that's what I said..."I love it".... UGH!!! Now I can't stop thinking about that woman, desperate for answers.  What I should of said was, "Yes Jesus Christ is how I get through it.  He is my strength and He gives me every tool that I need to be a mother and a wife and a friend through His Word in the Bible and keeps me sane.  He has saved me from my despair and given me new life."  Even a fraction of that would have been better than what I said.  I don't know if I will see her again in the grocery store, but you can bet if I do I will tell her the TRUTH.  People constantly tell me that they don't know how I do it or that I am so strong, but I am nothing.  I am so weak. I lose it every single day and it is Christ and the Bible that brings me back to peace and joy.  I could not go through this daily pain and still have the happiness that I truly do have without having Jesus Christ in my heart.  He is who keeps me dancing every day with my children and laughing and singing and praising.  So I have to tell every mom out there that I know, I encourage you to turn to Jesus in this tremendously hard time.  He can be your refuge.  You can know a joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.  Jesus Christ was sent to die for all of us sinners, to reconcile us with God, and if we believe that He died for our sins and ask Jesus to live in our hearts, we can have eternal life with God in Heaven.  Isn't that awesome?  Not only can our sins be forgiven, but we can have eternal life with our heavenly father.  More so, God can give you a strength you never believed possible and a peace you could never have otherwise.  I encourage you to ask Jesus into your hearts if you haven't and if you have...run to Him.  Also, don't be scared to run to fellow Christians for help.  A friend reminded me today that sometimes people just don't know how to help you.  We moms have to put our pride away and our "we can do it all" attitudes aside and just ask for help when we need it.  I know I need help sometimes.  Its very hard to ask to for it or to even know what to ask for, but I will be attempting this more I think.  Please share ideas with me if you have any. 

I read a beautiful verse in Colossians today...
"May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.  He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:11-14

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